In search of a damn fan

All I wanted was a simple fan to put near the head of my bed to circulate the air at night. First I tried a simple fan from Wal-Mart. Mistake – plastic construction, cheap as hell. Took it back. Got a metal fan. Mistake – loud as hell. Took it back. Got a slightly more expensive, heavier metal fan. Mistake – louder than hell. Took it back.

Went to Lowe’s. The winner! And it was only $20.

http://tinyurl.com/335xcd

The Dumbass Theory

Mike and I were just talking and I told him about my Dumbass Theory. Anyone can be a dumbass, you know. I am a dumbass from time to time myself. I came across this theory and developed it into a coping/healing technique as I spent 9.5 hours driving from Alabama with two dogs panting in my ear the whole time. I got hung up in Atlanta traffic and there I was, uptight, tense, and PANT PANT PANT PANT PANT going off in my ear. Right then I decided to call everyone who pissed me off a DUMBASS. Well, about 479 utterances later, I was laughing hysterically! Okay, you probably had to have been there, but there you go. Next time someone just annoys the crap out of you – like Annoying Gumby – just call them a DUMBASS and you will be laughing in no time! 😉

Annoying Gumby

There’s this guy in my yoga class who annoys the crap out of me. He’s 17, flaming gay with a lisp and and very flexible. He does the mock humility thing – asking the teacher “are we supposed to put our foreheads down on our knees in this one?” We were working on headstands and he’s doing some weird thing and falls out of the pose, making a clatter.

So why does he annoy me? I’m trying to figure it out. I wish I were as flexible, which is annoying. I wish I could have done this stuff when I was his age, which is also annoying. But I think it’s the mock humility that drives me up a freakin’ wall.

Huge footprint

Not mine, although I certainly do have big feet. We helped some friends of ours move this weekend. It’s just the husband, wife and 8-yr old son. They bought a 3,000 square foot home that they can’t really afford. And since their “accent color” is red, they decided they needed a red sofa, new pillows for the sofa, a red dish drainer, red canister set for the kitchen, red blender (that they don’t use), red crockpot (that they don’t use), red coffee maker, and new red-handled flatware. And a new washer/dryer combo – the “Duet” front loader combo, that’s about $2,000.

They have so much stuff, they are just drowning in it. They got to closing and learned that their loan officer had screwed up and their monthly mortgage payment will now be $150 more per month and they are freaking out. If it’s *thaaat* close, they are in over their heads. Or at least they are right on the stress-me-out line.

It’s a lovely home but the whole thing just made me sad. Nice house, but at what cost (and not just the money)?

Language and religion

Heard part of an interview with Bishop John Shelby Spong about his new book “Jesus for the Non-Religious.” (This was on WUNC on their show “The State of Things,” www.wunc.org)

The part I heard was interesting. He was describing how in the olden days, language was much simpler where religion was described in three areas – here on earth, “above the sky” and down in hell. He was saying that now, “above the sky” can mean “orbit” and “outer space” and how that takes on a whole new meaning when you’re trying to talk about God.

I don’t know anything about this guy – perhaps he’s controversial, a whacko, or just someone who has a lot of time to think about this. But his question was interesting – how can you talk about “God” when you don’t have any god-language? (I’m not explaining it well, but it made me think.)

Cooties

So there I was at the Goodwill Thrift Shop which is in a very rich part of town, looking for jeans for Casey. (Sometimes I luck out.) It was me and about 10 Mexicans shopping. Okay, whatever, I certainly don’t care. But when I left the store, I noticed these two very yuppie women in their huge Expedition Navigator Escalade SUV urban assault vehicle, and they were busily rubbing their hands together with waterless hand sanitizer. Just the whole picture made me stop. What, thrift stores are THAT nasty? I didn’t think so. Were they just slumming?

Time to whine

Okay, this week has been less than stellar.

  • 3 hours with an environmental resources inspector
  • A group at work doing a week-long overhaul of an area and expecting instant data rewiring without any notice, planning or consultation with, uh, ME, their I/S department.
  • One power blip and IP addresses going haywire
  • One really fantastic evening with the offspring (see last post)
  • Almost getting into it with an employee who complained that something on his PC wasn’t working right, and when I asked if he had notified me about it, he said “I’m just used to putting up with things not working. I just come in and do my job.”
  • Casey being up from 4-5am this morning due to very bad dream.
  • And last night, my usual yoga teacher couldn’t make it and the sub did “Yoga Fit, which is designed for a health club environment.” ACK ACK ACK.

I’m going to go take a nice hot shower (and drown myself) – ha!

Wherein Casey meets Jesus

Sigh. Okay, tell me what the hell is up with this. Is it just puberty? We have Casey do about 15 min. of chores every day (after homework). No biggie. But he did a half-assed job and I called him back to the kitchen. Heavy sigh, slamming stuff around, eye-rolling. I had to tell him to slow down because he had two sharp objects in his hand and was moving too fast. More attitude, which earned him pushups from Chuck. More dramatics, attitude, mouth, yelling, dramatics and a final trip to his room because we just couldn’t stand it. The ultimate was when Casey said he was going to “tell lies” to someone about how bad we treat him. That didn’t fly. At all.

After all the emotions had died down, we had a family meeting and discussed (calmly) how kids have called Social Services because they’re pissed off, and how it generally doesn’t go well. Casey did see the light, but I think his biggest “a-ha!” moment came when I said he had traded 5 minutes of doing dishes right for 1 hour of dramatics and getting into trouble.

What the hell!