Finding gifts

OK, this is kinda deep, but it’s got me thinking. Here are some thoughts by John Yungblut on finding gifts within your losses. This is all paraphrased from another blog and now will go find the original Yungblut writing to dig a little deeper. I have no idea who this man is, other than a Quaker author. I just thought these ideas were intriguing.

Treat your losses and suffering as companions to whom you are obligated to feel a friendly spirit. If your losses are not tormentors, it is easier to have a sense of humor about them, to separate yourself from your sufferings.

Each loss comes with gifts. “[T]he physical limitations that come with aging also bring with them ‘the reconversion from earning a living to cultural activity’ – that is, there is time to talk to others, to think, to devote to the outside world as we retire and age.” The definition of success changes – instead of focusing on work and outer definitions, success becomes children grown well to adulthood, the love of family, warmheartedness, kindness.

We can view our losses as leading us gently towards our adaptation to the ultimate diminishment – death. That is, we can come to recognize that sometimes the point is not whether we can alter events, but how we face them. We can find meaning, even when we cannot change things, in our ability to shape the meaning of things – to do right, even when the right thing is not enough, to face even very hard times with courage and honor, even though it won’t make the hard times go away to do so.

Bear surgery

Poor little Teb! Yep, our new dogs got to him and he has been mauled! I thought he was salvageable, and I called on the family’s resident expert, Dr. J, for help. Here’s our patient before:

And here’s the patient after the incident. [WARNING: Graphic images follow.]

He used to have a zipper that ran down his back, and you could turn him inside out to transform into a pillow (that’s the pink/heart material next to him).

Here are pictures of his face reconstruction. Note – his nose job upgraded him to having nostrils!

I do but I don’t…

I have been in a very weird state of mind lately. This time of year is hard – anniversary of Mom’s death, holidays in general, whatever. I am tired of spending every holiday with C.’s side of the family, yet when I think about it, it’s not like MY side of the family is all that close-knit. Sure, we would do anything for each other in a heartbeat, but as for regular visits and such, it just doesn’t happen. We’d probably get on each other’s nerves in a day or so. It doesn’t help that we are literally spread out from coast to coast. So I want my family, but I don’t.

I have friends who are going through a different stage in life. That, too, is weird, because we moved so much growing up, I don’t recall being friends with anyone so long that they actually WENT through a different phase while I knew them. Now I’ve got friends I’ve known for 7-10 years. Some are making financial decisions that, from the outside, just don’t make any sense. Others are trying to recapture their lost youth, but what’s weird is I am older than they are. WTF? So I want my friends, but I don’t.

At work, there is a company-wide I/S team. Recently the guys at HQ held a 2008 planning session. One of the guys from another division was included. I was not. I feel left out, and it sucks, because those guys don’t communicate for shit and then are totally surprised when they check in with the rest of the company to see what all is going on. So I want to be included, but maybe I don’t.

Sigh. I can’t figure this out yet. I keep reminding myself of what I tell c. all the time – the hardest thing you will ever have to do is stay true to yourself. I will just need to find my own way again and stay true. I guess I’m surprised that I lost my way a bit and have to find it again, but then again, I suppose we all drift from time to time.